1. Breast feeding is so convenient and always on tap and what they don't tell you is it's an instant soother. Fussy baby in an inconvenient place - boob (you say to yourself; this is a terrible habit but it is always there just in case and you use it!).
It also puts baby to sleep. No dancing around the nursery. Over tired? Boob is almost guaranteed to knock them out. Brilliant.
(nb - expressing is a right faf and a complete pain! You feel like a cow being milked, it can take ages (even with Electric) and makes the most awful noise.) Your partner will never see you in the same light again (see number 11).
2. When the nappy starts leaking (all up their back .... front ....hair) it's time for the next size up.
3. It takes hours to leave the house initally... accept it and keep changing bag packed! The fact you are out at all is the most important thing.
4. For the first month your dinners will go cold and you'll find cold cups of tea everywhere.
5. Baby brain is real. Last week I put the oven chips back in the fridge.
6. You become virtually invisible. All anyone is interested in is the baby. Make the most of the attention (and free time) while you are pregnant!
7.Get out there, make friends, post on websites, join the NCT, go to an under one's group and meet other new mums. They will be your best friends and are the only friends you have who you can talk to about babies without seeing them glaze over.
8. Guilt is part of the course. Guild over feeding, time, attention, returning to work, illness etc. The list is endless.
9. You will be able to get showered, dressed, a smudge of makeup on and hair done (up .... inevitably!) in record time. Straightners! Pah! Shove them under the bed for awhile! The dishevelled pony tail is in!
10. It's ok to go to the Doctors about every rash, cough, unusual mark. They expect it from new, first time Mums and will not think you are a "nutter".
11. Sex. The first time after a giving birth is like being a virgin again, all "oh be careful", "slowly" and then relief when it's over, out the way and no longer hanging over you! (Tip - KY Jelly - for peace of mind).
Oh and if the stretch marks, flabby belly, nervousness etc wasn't enough apparently when you orgasm you can also leak breast milk. Great! They don't tell you that in the books! Hasn't happened ......yet! Will keep you posted!
TBC!
All sounds very familiar (my son is two now but it sticks in the memory)! I hated expressing with a passion - went back to work when my son was 5.5 months, and expressed for him until he was 11 months. I was ready to burn that pump by the time I was done.
ReplyDeleteWhat an effort! Well done you. Not sure I could do that!! Don't get much when I express!
ReplyDeleteI got loads when he was first born, but less and less as time went on. By the end he was only having one feed a day at nursery, but I had to express twice a day at work, and every night after he'd gone to bed, to have enough. You can see why I hated it!
ReplyDelete